I’m Inspired to Kick Ass.

Two things have inspired me to be tough today, One is this guy
I’ve been listening to Transformer almost non stop. If my life is ever interesting enough to require a movie about it, and needs a soundtrack that invokes coolness, mystery, and toughness, I’m positive I would want Lou Reed to write it. I want to strut around with a cigarette hanging from my mouth and my lipstick smeared. So tough.

And two is Justina! She is so badass. She’s conquered her fear and went to Roller Derby Tryouts/Practice. I want to be near her just in case some of her coolness could rub off on me. I have fantastic dreams where I’m wearing fishnets, shredding the track, taking bitches down. In my dreams they are chanting (niney niney niney) I’m not cool enough to come up with a derby name in my dreams! But either way I am fucking tough and bitches are scared. This dream is often quelled by one of two things.
1. I can’t skate
2. I am chunky and fantastically out of shape.

Maybe I can figure out a way to realize my dream of taking a victory lap while they play Perfect Day by Lou Reed while I skate by and pose in slo-mo. Eat that bitches.

We can take the long way home…

I’ve been using the internet more or less constantly since 1997 (the good old AOL days). Since that time I’ve never been without the internet (in some form or another) for more than a month. It’s been nearly 5 months since I’ve had internet at home. During the black internet-less days, I had to adapt.
* I had to learn how to look up telephone numbers in the phone book
* I’ve had to ask my tom tom where the nearest grocery store is
* I’ve had to physically call my friends on the telephone instead of facebooking them
* I’ve had to rely on the 3 cookbooks we own and misc handwritten recipes
* I’ve had to listen to the same 25 CD’s that were on my Ipod before my hard drive took a nose dive
* I’ve had to knit only patterns that were printed out and stored in my 3 ring knitting binder

It was hard, and just when I got my bearings, and knew which way my north was; when I’d finally learned how to live without it. I got it all back. The only thing I’m missing is a working digital camera. (mine appears to be very very broken)

I have a working laptop
I have high speed internet (that isn’t “borrowed” from the neighbors)
I feel so connected.

I’ll admit that I’ve missed some of you more than others, I have been reading back over the things I missed out on. And to one friend in particular, I am sorry I wasn’t there to help you lick your wounds.

nine to five, chocolate balls!

After working on them for about two months, my nine-to-five socks are done. They took a long time because I just can’t knit basic socks very quickly. I seem to be able to knit lace faster, maybe because there is clear proof of progress when you see that you’ve finished a repeat, with a pattern like the twisted rib, I knit and knit and never felt like I was closer to done. I’m glad they are finished. I love the yarn color, it’s a brilliant, vivid red. I tried to take an accurate photo of the color, but my camera is dumb. I tried to fix it in Photoshop, but I just ended up with a strange neon red.

Also, Bakerella is a genius. I followed the recipe for red velvet cake balls and they were out of this world. They are too sweet for me, but I have very sensitive sweet receptors. I made about 60, we kept some and I took the rest into work. They were a hit. I think that with practice, I could get much prettier results. Thank you Bakerella! for such a great idea.

They changed my hours in the middle of the week, so I close tonight. I’m lucky that Zach is off from school or else who knows who would pick natalie up from preschool. I hope I get a regular schedule before he goes back to classes.

Zach currently has a 3.8 GPA and perfect attendance. Way to go!

Hello Summer!

Sun is shining, the grass is green.

Summer is here and with the changing of the seasons it seems like everyone in the house gets a virus. We are entering day 5 of natalie being sick. She is usually fine during the day but in the evening she gets a fever. She was given the generic diagnosis of : Viral Infection. Which is just fancy talk for “we don’t know what is wrong with your kid.” So I’ve just been trying to keep her hydrated and we’ve had to postpone our swimming fun until she gets over her virus.

Since we can’t go outside, I’ve been knitting. I spent a long time knitting on my 9-5 socks and they are the socks of doom now. I knit and knit and knit and they are still an inch shy of the toe decrease. So based on their unwillingness to become a FO, they have been sent to time out.

I have a scarf that needs to be frogged and I finally bought size 4 straights so I can knit this alpaca cloud into a scarf so I can stop having to look at it. It’s being stubborn and I wonder if it’s because the yarn wants to be a flutter scarf. I may have to buy the pattern when I get paid.

My newest project:

Isn’t it… green! I love it.
reminds me of this:

It just gets me into the summer spirit.

I never signed up to be in a 3 stooges episode.

I’m crossing my fingers, but today is starting out on the right foot.

Yesterday was just one of those days. The days that are ruled primarily by Murphy’s Law, and make you want to curl up in bed and not move until it’s over.

Work: While I’m still training and expected to make many mistakes, I made it through the first week with very few mistakes. Yesterday I made a mistake that had to be fixed by my trainer. While it wasn’t harmful, it was embarrassing, and almost everyone found out about it. Instead of letting me off the hook he brought up my mistake several times during the rest of the day. I finally told him that I’ve been doing a really good job, and some mistakes only had to be made once. He finally dropped the subject. Also a patient told my trainer that I was terrible at my job and that I should be fired. My female trainer stuck up for me because the guy was complaining about something that he’d done. It doesn’t bother me too much, but it still stings just a little bit.

I also got my final Hep B vaccine. It hurts like a beast. But hooray for not getting an infectious disease!

Home: While I thought she was using the restroom, my 3 yo dumped 3/4 of a bottle of Disney Princess bubble bath into the tub. The entire bottom was coated with the slippery, hot-pink stuff. It took me a minute to figure out how I was going to rinse it out with out activating the bubble part of the bubble bath. I could see myself floating away on a tidal wave of bubbles like in the cartoons. I filled a giant mixing bowl with water and rinsed it down, it took several trips and on the final trip I slipped spilled most of bucket of water onto the bathroom floor.

After I got it all cleaned up I was loading the coffee maker for the morning, and the used coffee grounds en route to trash can, bursts and spills on the carpet. Nothing says “Hey buddy, you’re not getting your fucking deposit back” like coffee stains on white shag carpet.

While once again filling up bucket/mixing bowl full of water and oxy clean, the kitchen hose pulled out of bucket and sprayed kitchen floor, niney and surrounding area.

I was lucky that the oxy clean worked and lifted the coffee stain out of the carpet. We’d just had these carpets cleaned as a thank you for renewing our lease. And since it took almost 2 full days to dry, I’m not keen on having them cleaned any time soon. By the way, did I mention how the guy that made the decision to put in white/very light cream colored SHAG carpet into an apartment should be fired?

I just had “one of those days”. I’m hoping today will be better. And I learned a couple of valuable lessons.
1.Oxyclean is magic.
2. Knitting calms me down and stops me from smashing things like the hulk.

Farmer’s Market & Serendipity.

I was supposed to have a play date with a Woman I only know on the internet. As luck would have it, both her youngest child and Natalie are both sick. We agreed to reschedule. Not wanting to waste a second of my day off I made a bargain with the devil (Zach) and agreed to iron 3 chef coats, 3 aprons and 2 pairs of checks in exchange for him driving me cross town to a farmer’s market I’d never been to. I thought I got a bargain, but now that I’m home exhausted and ready to take a nap, there is a pile of whites waiting to be starched.

The weather was perfect for being outside.

The flowers were in bloom. I love the colors of spring.
I really find myself wishing I had a yard of my own. City life has it’s disadvantages.

Natalie loves flowers.

There were a lot of baked goods around. We had cream puffs. And we bought 2 loaves of an amazing artisan bread. And surprisingly about 1/2 of each loaf made it home. We nom nomed it though the parking lot. We bought an asiago basil loaf

and a cranberry walnut loaf.

Someone was also nice enough to give me a sample chicken wing.

We also tasted a few wines by a local winerey. We bought the merlot, and I plan on drinking every lovely drop the second it turns dinner time.

Here is where the serendipity part comes into play. As we were walking back to the car we noticed tents in the park across the street. We decided to go investigate, and found that it was a highlands ranch music festival.

We perused

And acted silly.

And found hidden fungus.

The only low point of my day is when we chanced across a yarn store called sticks. And as I raced to the door in almost a full sprint, I saw the sign on the door that said closed. THEY ARE CLOSED ON SUNDAY. So, this is the closest I got to yarn loving.

Well, I better get going… these coats aren’t going to iron themselves.

Super samosas and stuff.

Today was my first day off since I started my new job. I rolled out of bed at 7 am and felt like the cat that ate the canary. It feels good to sleep in. Natalie and I are both coming down with a cold, I think it’s the obligatory “daycare” germs that I’ve heard so much about. The upside is that she doesn’t have to go back to daycare until Monday, that will give her little body time to fight off the germs.

The sun just flat out refuses to come out. My little tomato plants, while thriving are starting to notice the lack of sun attention.

I love my little plant, it is so cute. Its tomato plant brothers are also doing well.

My best friend Lisa came over bringing cherry cupcakes with pink frosting. I would have pictures, but I’ve eaten them all. Suffice to say there isn’t a faster way into my heart than cupcakes.
Earlier in the week I bought the ingredients to make samosas. I found a recipe I liked and tried it out today. I have to say that Garam Masala powder is my new favorite smell. I can’t believe how good it smells. It’s kind of spicy and deep. It was my first time making samosas, and I have to say that it was a success.

I also managed to knit a bit on my 9-5 socks. They have taken a very long time to complete. I’m in the final stretch before I start the toe decreases.

I’m loving this color. It’s risata from Knitpicks in the spicy colorway. I went to the site today and couldn’t believe that they didn’t offer this color. Gone are the dreams I had of making a damson out of it.
I’ve also been working on my pet project for my Aunt Hen. She bought a tiny couch cover thing from the thrift store, and told me she loved it and would like another, she made it sound very complicated, and I was worried I was going to have to tell her it wasn’t something I could duplicate. I was happy to see that it’s just a 21 granny square sampler. She gave me one of the colors she wanted in it, and since the yarn she gave me was acrylic, I followed suit and bought a bunch of acrylic from Michaels. I started on it and have 6 squares or so done.

I have a 3rd project in the works and one in my head. I can’t find it to photograph it though.
I love lazy days.

It’s oh so quiet…

I’ve squandered my only quiet alone time today with photoshop. I was searching on google to find a quick tutorial on how to turn an ordinary snap shot into looking more like a cheap 70’s slide. I know with all of our technology I’m trying to emulate an instamatic!

Well, I came across a rad tutorial about making your subject’s eyes “pop” @ Pioneer Woman Photographyand I had to try it out.

Then I got the photoshop bug, and photoshopped a few more photos.

I did one of my friend Amber, but it’s not really my photo to post. I forgot how much fun I have with photoshop. I am contemplating taking a course somewhere just to make sure I know how to use all of the different options. It’s a very in depth program.
I love graphic arts, I think if it wasn’t such a competitive field I’d love to explore logo design and marketing.

Tonight is my friend Christopher’s birthday. I think I may have talked Lisa into going to the party with me. I just wish I didn’t have so much anxiety. I think I have potential to have agoraphobia when I’m older. I can’t tell you how many times I have canceled plans and talked myself out of doing certain things just because the anxiety level I had while thinking about leaving the house boarded on panic. I’ve been trying to visualize like my friend Doyle (an aspiring social worker) suggested. I try to visualize myself opening the door and walking down the stairs. Getting into the car and exiting the apartment complex onto the street. Whatever I visualize next usually decides weather or not I leave the house to do that particular activity. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a jive turkey. I used to be perfectly capable of having a good time and being carefree. Something happened between my disaster of a marriage where I spent so many hours alone and ignored, to my motherhood being near isolation. I find that after so many years of being alone I’ve developed a bubble mentality. There are a few clues that I’m not really “sick”.
1. I am perfectly fine if someone is with me. Zach, Lisa, anyone.
2. If there is even a mention of shopping, or I have to buy something I’m out the door and down the stairs before my shoes are tied. (so to speak)
3. Don’t know where I was going with all of this. Talking about photoshop to discussing my anxiety… weird leap.

So yeah to summarize.
Photoshop = good.
Anxiety = bad

So close to death. (or why you should never touch mommy’s knitting)

Zach didn’t have school this morning, so we decided to go eat PHO before we signed the lease for another year in our apartment. We had a lovely lunch, came home and I put natalie down for a nap. I’m walking around the living room picking up; I look over and see a pair of knitting needles laying on her Disney Princesses foam couch. My heart stopped.

They were size 3 bamboo straights.
You might remember them from such lovely photos as this one:

I just finished chart 3 and was much further along than the above picture. Also if you are a knitter you might also notice the lack of contrasting lifelines in the above photo. That’s because I didn’t have any. I foolishly thought that because I put up my knitting out of baby reach and it’s a simple enough pattern that I would be fine. Ha. The egg is on my face.

A combination of things made calm enough to not to scream at the baby that caused my sadness. 1. Her father is a super awesome man. He was the right amount of outraged and sympathetic. He asked how bad it was and asked if I couldn’t possibly somehow save it. And while I ranted and raved about a week’s worth of work down the drain and how I was going to murder his daughter, he kept soothing me with “wow that sucks” and “I hope you can save it”.
2. I ripped back two rows and had the right stitch count. I only have to repeat one row of the chart and the obligatory purling wrong side row.
3. I was warmed and calmed by the Vietnamese love soup floating around in my belly.

This trio worked in synergy to ensure my child will once again be allowed to live to see 4. After freaking out for 20 minutes, I’m cooled down and over it.

It looked worse than it actually was.

Things you can tell by looking (around) her.

This post could alternately be called : Why you should never drink loads of coffee and get introspective.

After reading the secret blog of a very good friend of mine, I’m intrigued by the thought that everyone we know has a very specific idea of who they think we are. It was disconcerting to see a more human side of a person that I feel is a superhero. It proved that while I’ve known her for years, there are parts of her that will always remain hers alone. Seeing her humanity didn’t diminish her in my eyes, if anything her fragility made her even more alluring. And the way she writes makes me want to know her even more.

So, with that said. I wonder what ideas the people I know and surround myself with have for who I am. I know who I think I am, and the impression I think I exude. I wonder how all of that comes across to other people.  I took pictures all around the house, and I wonder what they say about me. I wonder if they accurately tell the tale of niney.

Lets start with where I spend the majority of my free (non-knitting) time. (it isn’t usually this orderly, I have company coming over later)

Bookcases are an intimate area for bookworms.. what does mine say?

I think this is a great representation of the man I am spending my life with.

A lack of religion can also be a viable religion, if there is abundant faith.

I no longer collect turtles, but I still think they are the animal that best represents me.

I am a glutton, I take a lot of pleasure in food.

I am fascinated by vintage hairstyles, and the 1940’s

I waited a long time to become a parent, I’ve wanted a child as far back as I can remember. When I got married I just assume that the child would follow, and it never happened. I spent years waiting and hoping, then I met Zach and apparently the universe decided I had met the right person and we had a beautiful daughter. She is my dream come true. I am so happy, therefore, I’m incredibly annoying. I am one of those parents that acts like their kid is the center of the universe. No one child has ever been cuter/smarter/more funny/or more amazing than my child. She is the first kid to embody the joy of the entire universe. She is the body that my future soul now resides in. Plus did I mention she’s cute?

I am possessed by the need to make something out of nothing. The act of creation is strong within me. I have to create, I have to nurture, I have to because if I didn’t… I’d probably die.

Have I been properly summed up?